Adventures In Parodyverse: Bad Timing, Part 2

Adventures in Parodyverse - Bad Timing Part 2

    The teleport only lasted a split second. Or that's how it was supposed to work if Chad & Ronnie hadn't spent several minutes preparing first.

    Lara Night wasn't happy. It was bad enough that she, Chad, Ronnie, and Violet had to hold hands for the quick trip through the dimensions to where the armored car had gone. Except Chad & Ronnie both insisted on wearing aluminum foil hats - and they brought enough with them to offer Violet one too, but she turned it down. Even Little Cat had a tiny foil hat.

    "We can walk right up to them, we're still invisible!" Ronnie said, just a little too loudly.

    "No, no, we're not invisible!" Lara whispered that frantically and tried to hold back Chad, who had already started walking. "Violet, help me out or we'll all get shot."

    "You aren't bullet proof?" Ronnie asked, sounding disappointed.

    Violet had a rather innovative way to distract the two. "Guys, isn't it time to feed Little Cat?"

    Chad nodded as Ronnie looked at him. Little Cat hopped up and down in Chad's coat pocket as Chad slipped him a jelly bean.

    Ronnie then looked at Violet. "Chad says since you're a cat-girl and Little Cat likes jelly beans perhaps you would like one too?"

    Violet almost agreed but then she realized that the jelly beans were half melted because they were stored on Chad's left pants pocket. Plus some of Little Cat's loose fur was among them. "No thank you," she said, wrinkling her nose at the thought of eating one of those.

    During that distraction Lara went into the warehouse they teleported to. She was a little worried about leaving Chad & Ronnie unsupervised with Violet, being that she was so easily sucked into their world, but she had no choice - bringing them inside with her was out of the question.

    She circled around the empty armored car once. Then she heard voices she didn't recognize, so she dove into the armored car and peeked out of the doorway to see what the source of those voices was.

    "This is so exciting!" she heard whispered behind her, and she almost jumped out of her skin. It was Ronnie, leaning over her back watching whatever she was watching. Chad was very close behind him, and Violet crammed in next to the two.

    "What the...? How did you three get in here?" Lara whispered angrily.

    Ronnie looked at Chad. Chad simply shrugged. Everyone then looked at Violet.

    "Don't look at me!" she whispered, "I was following you two!"

    Lara shook her head and tried to focus again on the voices outside the armored car. They mentioned something about ripping off a stupid waitress in a crappy restaurant. Lara looked at Violet, who obviously heard every word with her sharp cat-girl hearing, and seemed depressed.

    "Don't listen to them, Violin," Ronnie said. "You're the best waitress ever to serve us waffles!" Chad nodded in agreement.

    It was that point two things happened. Violet cheered up and smiled, and the voices outside the armored car went silent because Ronnie's compliment was given entirely too loudly. There were footsteps moving toward the armored car.

    "Oh crap!" Violet whined quietly. "They're going to kill us!"

    Violet's words were rather prophetic, because a moment later a half dozen scruffy-looking street gangsters were standing in front of the open armored car doors pointing guns at Lara, Ronnie, Chad, and Violet.

    "Looks like we got a problem," one of them said.

    "Who are you anyway?" Lara bravely asked them, trying her best to focus their attention on her. "And why are you stealing only pennies?"

    The leader of the group ignored Lara for a moment. He was looking directly at Chad...and he seemed livid. "You!" he said. He looked at the others and said, "Kill him!"

    "Wait, wait!" Lara stepped in front of them. "Someone tell me what's going on here?"

    "This is none of your business, hero!" the leader said. "It's between us and Mr. Penny Lover there."

    "Chad's a Lionel Ritchie fan?" Violet asked, confused.

    Ronnie shook his head. "Chad only likes accordion music."

    "Yeah, like Weird Al Yankovick's dad--" Lara paused mid-sentence and then frowned. "How did I get sucked into this?" She looked at the gang leader again. "Why do you care if Chad likes pennies?"

    The gang leader held up a large plastic button attached to his shirt. It was a picture of a penny with a red line through it. "We're the Penny Hater Gang. We want to eradicate all pennies from Paradopolis. And this penny loving geek here keeps spreading more of them! He deserves to die!"

    They raised their guns again. And once again, Lara stepped in front of them.

    "Hey, hey!" she yelled at them. "Look, Chad isn't breaking any laws. All of you? You're breaking so many laws that you'll go to jail and nobody will care if you hate pennies. Why couldn't you...I dunno...just buy a bunch of those machines that bend pennies into funny shapes and get them off the streets that way?"

    There was a howling cry from behind Lara as Chad began sobbing openly. Ronnie glared at Lara and began comforting his friend.

    Lara sighed. "Chad, come on...the U.S. Mint prints millions of new pennies every year--"

    "They what??" The gang leader yelled. He pointed his gun at Lara, and his friends did the same. "Tell us where this U.S. Mint is! We have to stop them!"

    "Oh my god, this is just stupid." Lara finally lost her temper with the Battle of the Pennies and blasted the gunmen with a forceful burst of force field energy, knocking them off their feet and then unconcious to the floor. She then turned to Violet. "Find a phone and call the police. It's time to put an end to this."

    Violet nodded and hopped out of the truck, racing to find a phone. She didn't have to go far - one of the men in the gang dropped one.

    Then the unexpected happened. Chad suddenly hugged Lara tightly, and he was still crying - only tears of joy instead of pain. "What...?" she asked, confused.

    "Chad says you're a friend to pennies everywhere," Ronnie beamed with pride. "You've made him so happy!"

    Lara couldn't help but smile slightly and pat Chad gently on the back. She didn't even care that Ronnie got caught up in the moment and hugged her too.

---

    It had finally stopped raining when Lara, Chad, Ronnie, and Violet returned to the Bean & Donut. This time Chad & Ronnie ordered pancakes, and asked the alternate waitress, Tandi, to keep them coming until they asked for her to stop.

    Chad & Ronnie sat together on one side with Little Cat on the table between them. Ronnie's brightly colored afro was squished against the wall behind him, and occasionally pushed the hanging light above the table when he turned or leaned forward. Across from them Violet had the window seat and Lara had the aisle.

    "I need to get back soon," Lara told them as she tasted a small piece of pancake with syrup on it. "I'm sure the Lair Legion wonders where I went by now."

    Chad nodded, and smiling, handed Lara a perfect roll of brand new pennies.

    "Nah, you keep it," Lara told him. "You'll put them to better use."

    He nodded again, and handed the roll to Violet.

    "No, no." Violet waved both her hands in front of her. "This one's on the house. Right Tandi?"

    Tandi gave her best fake smile as she put another plate of pancakes on the table, but then walked away quickly.

    "You're a better waitress than she is," Ronnie told Violet. He looked at Lara and added, "and she can really dance, too. Can you dance?"

    "Sometimes." Lara shrugged. "When I'm in the mood to." She then stood and placed one hand on the bench, preparing herself to leave. "I really should get going."

    Ronnie stood too and offered to shake Lara's hand. "It has been an honor helping you with your hero work, Undercover Lara. No matter what anyone says, I believe you're a real hero!"

    "Uh...thanks, I guess." Lara shook his hand. Chad then stood and shook her hand too, with his eyes watering. He then abruptly hugged Lara and began crying again.

    "Chad is very passionate about his favorite currency. He will be forever grateful to you, Undercover Lara."

    "Thanks." She nodded once, and patted Chad gently on the back once and then tried to pry him free. "But I really have to go. It was um...interesting meeting you two again."

    Lara turned and started walking to the door. As she left, Chad began playing an emotional tune on his accordion, and she could hear him sniffling until she left the Bean & Donut. She could still hear the music outside.

-- Story written and copyrighted (C) 2007 by Jason Froikin, and may not be
-- reprinted without permission.
-- Yuki Shiro designed by Jason Froikin, based on designs by Masamune Shirow
-- Liu Xi Xian and the Psychic Samurai are original design by Jason Froikin
-- Lara Night is an original creation by Jason Froikin

Post By Anime Jason Fri Jun 01, 2007 at 04:43:52 pm EDT	Subject Adventures In Parodyverse: Bad Timing, Part 2

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